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帮忙改1雅思作文.谢谢拉~~~

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帮忙改1雅思作文.谢谢拉~~~
Some people think schools should only teach students academic knowledge. Others think they should teach students to judge what is right and wrong. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

When we discuss school’s responsibility, people’s attitudes vary from one to another. Some people hold the view that school should focus on students’ academic studies while others embrace that it is imperative for schools to teach students to distinguish right and wrong. To my mind, the following statements should be taken into consideration.

First of all, one primary criterion for evaluating schools as qualified or unqualified ones is whether teachers can effectively instill academic knowledge to students. After all, the better performance in academic studies the students achieve, the higher rank and reputation the school possess. Apart from this, Schools can assist students to achieve their goals by laying solid foundations in academic aspects for future education.
Second, a school’s obligation is not confined to passing on academic knowledge to the students, enlightening them about how to judge what is right and wrong is supposed to be another crucial duty for a school. It is unavoidable that one day the students will step out of school and integrate themselves into the complex society, in which they will confront with tough tasks rather than easy academic problems. In order to be better prepared and adapt to the society, students should be implanted suggestive advices on how to distinguish good from bad at schools where teachers share or discuss with their students their viewpoints towards different phenomena in society.

However, schools’ influence on instructing and molding students’ personality and behavior may not as obvious as helping students make progresses in academic study because students’ moral development are nurtured by families, friends, colleges, and many other things in the complex society.

Apparently, schools should not only teach students about academic studies, but also try to mould their characteristic and moral image. Meanwhile, due to the latter respect seems limited and not remarkable, the society as a whole is considered to work together to ensure the students’ overall development.
帮忙改1雅思作文.谢谢拉~~~
Some people think that schools should only teach students academic knowledge.Some people think that they should teach students to judge what is right and wrong.Discuss both views and give their views.When we discussed the responsibility of schools,people's attitudes vary from one to another.Some people believe that schools should be the focus of their academic studies,while others embrace,it is imperative for schools to teach students right from wrong.In my opinion,the following statements should be taken into account.First,a failure of the primary standards or conformity assessment school teachers can effectively impart academic knowledge to students.After all,the students achieved higher levels of academic research and school reputation has better performance.In addition,schools can help students achieve their educational goals and the right.Based on solid academic foundations for the next two schools is not limited to transfer the responsibility of the students academic knowledge,inspiration and how they judge what is wrong is a school that should be another important task.It is inevitable that one day the students out of school,into their complex social,they will face,rather than simply academic questions difficult task.In order to better prepare and adapt to society,students should be embedded in society imply recommendation on how to distinguish a good sign of poor school teachers from sharing or discussing their different views of students.However,school students to guide and shape the personality and behavior may not be significant help to students in the family's progress,because students in the academic study of ideological and moral construction is nurture,friends,schools,and many other things,complex society.Obviously,schools should not only teach students about academic research,but also try to shape the character and moral image.Also,because the latter seems to be limited,but not significant,the entire community to be seen to work together to ensure overall development of students.
我不知道我的答案是否正确,不过我已经尽力了!