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请老师帮忙修改短文

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TAKE LESSONS AFTER SCHOOL OR WORK(上课外补习班) There is more difficult knowledge in the classes now.So more and more students take lessons after school or work,But I think we shouldn`t take lessons after school or work . There are some reasons for my opinion. I think it isn`t necessary for us to take lessons after school or work . Fist We learn knowledge at school on weekdays.I have enough time to study. If we have lessons after school or work,we have no time to relax ourselves. In this way ,we can't study well and quickly. Second,we need time to develop our hobbies. We ought to be a student with many kinds of skill. Third, if we take lessons after school or work, we must do little exercise so that we don't have healthy and strong bodies. So I think we should't have lessons after school or work.In this way ,I believe we can be good students. 麻烦老师将我的错误改正,提出一些改进意见,谢谢.
请老师帮忙修改短文
解题思路: 作文,
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TAKE LESSONS AFTER SCHOOL OR WORK(上课外补习班) There is more difficult knowledge in the classes now.So more and more students take lessons after school or work,But I don't think we should take lessons after school or work . There are some reasons for my opinion.
I don't think it is necessary for us to take lessons after school or work . First We learn knowledge at school on weekdays.I have enough time to study. If we have lessons after school or work,we have no time to relax ourselves. In this way ,we can't study well and quickly. Second,we need time to develop our hobbies. We ought to be a student with many kinds of skill. Third, if we take lessons after school or work, we must do little exercise so that we don't have healthy and strong bodies.
So I think we should't have lessons after school or work.In this way ,I believe we can be good students.
非常好的一篇作文,简直无可挑剔,从你的这篇作文可以看出你是一个非常优秀的学生,至于改进意见,我认为你的作文中的这两个错误如果你认真的修改一遍,你是应该能自己改正的。所以在以后的写作中一定要多读几遍,有些错误是可以避免的。
最终答案:略