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Someone I admire most

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Someone I admire most
Hello,everyone!Today,I’m going to talk about the man I admire most.He was really a talent,but unfortunately,he left this world on the 5th of October last year.Maybe all of you have heard about his name.Yes ,he’s Steven Jobs,the man who changed the world.
Jobs was born in 1955.When he was only 21 years old,he formed Apple Computer.Jobs created the iMac ,ipad,iPhone and many other well-known digital product.But he had been badly ill since 2004 and died in 2011.He was just 56 years old when he died.Many people felt quite sad for his death.
Jobs once said:Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me.Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful.That’s what matters to me.
I admire him ,not only because of his wisdom,but also because he was a man who always had a strong will.He would never die and he will be alive in our hearts forever.Jobs was a great man,I hope I can become as contributive as him.So from now on,I must work hard.Try my best to become a useful person to the society.
Someone I admire most
He was really a talent,but unfortunately,he left this world on the 5th of October last year.
这是两句话 中间逗号.而且你冠词+形容词不加名词是什么意思.
修辞不谈 全篇好多语法错误 不给分也懒得给你一个个改